Repost From February 12th, since it did not stick
Despite being on the brink of World War in the midst of a stagnant, modern era depression like economy, my friendship with Mr. Grey Goose intact, my email box continues to get flooded with more and more Valentines invites to various “veal” or ”cheese fests” around the city. While the metaphors may seem appropriate, I am not much a fan of Veal, I much prefer a Rare Juicy Steak at the Palm (preferably Palm Two or in East Hampton), and despite what ATKINS says, I am not big on cheese either. With all that is going in the world today, I am feeling more spiritually inclined, and sense that others are seeking a more real sense of connectedness. All other things being the same, I just want to go where someone knows my name and is always glad I came…….so that I can flirt with someone who does not yet know my name!! (Cheers vs. About Last Night). As Joey would say, “how you doing!”
While I would love to do nothing more this week than Party 4 Charity or even get my juices flowing with Mama Gena & the magnificent courtesans, I think I will just yank my friend Tara out of her cubicle and join my friend Alisha on Thursday Night at Chetty Red for the Two of Hearts Party. Mention London Network at the door. We are bringing together various elements of our social and professional circles in a relaxed environment to see if we can warm and perhaps even join some hearts. You may not see Cass or “see the flash” for that matter…but you may in fact end up on someone’s web site. David Shapiro and his weekly cocktail culture will be added to the mix. Assuming I recover on Friday in due course, I intend on trying to Get off…..line to see Gemini & Scorpio at Remote Lounge. After an evening with these goddesses if I have any energy left perhaps I can Incubate a bit and Come get FLOinc on Saturday with Beth at LEA. Assuming that I get reenergized by the company of goddesses of varying degrees and perspective over the course of several days, I intend to take myself even less seriously and join the Jesters Guild at PJ’s @ Sugar on Sunday night. "Sugar, ahh honey honey, you are my candy girl and you got me wanting you" I suggest that you do the same….if you want to be where someone knows your name and where someone else…may like to know your name. Cheers. If you so desire not to join us there are more Club oriented scenes available this week that you can find on Flavor Pill 212.net Show Club Planet RSVP NYC NYC Social Joonbug. If you are looking to spend some time with "Women Who Rock" check out BLONDESTREAK

P.S. Desperately seeking cute blonde seated towards back of the room near the back bar of the main room who I briefly caught eyes with last week at Chris Lukas “Aquarian Birthday Bash” @ The Havana Room @666 5th Ave.

Transactional Romance: Matchmakers vs. Madams: Is there really a difference?

It has become abundantly clear that love, sex and perhaps even romance now come with a price tag. As one of my friends stated, Chris, if you think about it, you either Pay $1.99 per minute (actually more like $3.99 per for fetish stuff), $500 per hour or more like $1,000 (actually for 4 star quality women) or by the lifetime sentence (with any random spoiled Princess you can meet in Manhattan). That does not include investments in 8 Minute Dating, Cosmo Party, Nerve.com, Drip Café, J Date, Match.com, It's Just Lunch, tickets to multiple charity and networking events, stocking the home bar and nesting ground with top shelf alcohol & Godiva chocolates. On top of that some have even made the further investment of hiring their own personal Yenta, such as Janice Spindel, Samantha Daniels or Denise Winston. Although, I would be the first to tell you that an investment in the spiritual guidance of Mama Gena & her Courtesans is clearly a worthwhile investment, whether you are an aspiring goddess or adonis looking to understand or attract your very own Alpha Female Goddess. Nevertheless, it is ever hard to notice that in down economy the quest to connect however intermittently is a thriving business.

There is unquestionably a transactional element to love, romance and sex in this town; money for orgasms with a different level of assistance and emotional involvement dependent upon what you offer in return. Sure, I, like many others had forsaken the phone sex, massages with happy endings and even escorts because due to inflation, the ones that one would most want to hire were costing a lot more these days. Yes ladies, men and in all likelihood your boyfriend, your husband etc...if he has a penis, has sampled some or all of the foregoing whether or not he ever intends on acknowledging it with you. In the words of Jack Nicholson..."You can't handle the truth." But frankly most men, could not handle the truth of your experiences either; yeah perhaps you did sort of fool around with your girlfriend or experiment with your personal trainer...and his buddy at the same time in between relationships. Sure it had nothing to do with sex..it was your need for affection not his great body and enormous phallus.

Nevertheless, with the stagnating economy’s impact on my livelihood, $1,000 per hour for pleasure at the hands of a sexy willing female sort of seemed financially irresponsible. It was also actually unnecessary. Not that I have become any Master of the Game, other than to note the ultimate irony in the mating game is that the less you try or desire to run into the Princes or Sex & the City Class of fems in this town, they are seemingly everywhere all over the lounge and charity circuit from Manhattan to the Hamptons. Admittedly, perhaps less so in the East Village and Williamsburg, but I digress.

But then it hit me. The dates, dinners, wine, romance, travel, chivalrous gifts of jewelery and the like, haven't I basically been paying for it all along? Is that too crass a way too look at it? If so, then essentially the freebee's, the girls you hooked up with and took home from Jimmy’s Downtown, The W, Serena or other Midtown watering holes really are the true values in the market place. They offer the best bang for the buck.....literally. Had my romantic ideals made me inefficient in the love game? Like many in a soft economy with evaporating retirement and investment accounts I found myself suffering from that Italian disease “DeFundsALo” and wondered what those vacations, spa and pampering treatments, Champagne and 5 pound lobsters at The Palm and jewelry might have gotten me by the hour on NYExotics or ErosNY. Maybe I could have gotten a tall Nordic goddess at least for a few hours or smokey brunette dominatrix? If we as men are to be so objectified in crass financial terms, than perhaps many men will continue to explore other alternatives to the mating game or make investments based upon the level of commitment that they seek in return. That would certainly be a logical effect of "free market economics."

In fact, that brings me to my point about whether there is actually a distinction between the "Love Brokers." How is a matchmaker (a.k.a, a Yenta) any different than a madam in this town? What are yenta's doing that is really any different from what Heidi Fleiss and Sydney Biddle Barrrows and other smaller time love brokers have been castigated, harassed, arrested and in some cases even imprisoned for? It would be unfair to focus the spotlight exclusively on the matchmakers of the Janice Spindel, Samantha Daniels, and Denise Winston variety (the "Yenta Class" of love broker). What has also interestingly emerged is a middle ground of love brokers somewhere between the yenta class and the Heidi Fleiss and Sydney Biddle Barrows class (the "Madam Class") of love brokering. Some of these services known as Prime Connections or VIP Life offer a full array of "Concierge" services to the executive including the model of his choice at whatever his destination and invitations to private gatherings where other similarly situated executives can meet the female counterparts or models associated with the service. What do we call this hybrid class of service (Intermittent and semi permanent liaisons) which seems to blur the line between Madams & Yentas? The Concierge Class or the Models for Wallets Class?

You see my dilemma is that these services evolved to meet existing needs in the market place. Without the need they do not exist. Rather than pass judgment or attempt to draw hairline distinctions between these services we should instead draw no distinction between one service vs. another because in essence they are all to varying degrees catering to and servicing the market for transactional romance or contractual sex. As one who is a lawyer and legal search professional or in more common parlance, a "Headhunter", my business is a similar talent search but for jobs or firms. Thus, I do not condemn the concept of hiring someone as your agent to procure for you precisely what you desire. But tell me how and why we should draw distinctions between yenta's who cruise the city for fresh young attractive female flesh to add to their data base to feed the hunger of a well heeled clientele of gentlemen willing to pay $25,000 per year for a Platinum service contract and those who serve as a madam to their clientele for less "permanent" associations, including contractual sexual encounters?. What is being sold is a promise of beauty or variations thereof for variations of wealth & status. What is fraudulent is to label it as anything other than that. There are also several little known trade secrets that I have come to learn. There seems to be a very flexible standard as to whom is the paying client. More often than not the less eligible party finds themselves in the predicament that the service costs more for them. Secondly, far too many yenta's have a data base full of women who's money they took for services that they can never render because there are not enough men or men who have paid for Platinum service contracts are not interested in the lower echelon members of their data base. Or as my female friend Lisa cracked, "why do I need to pay an unmarried Yenta Spinster $10,000 to help me meet a bunch of older balding men when I can meet them online or at J Date party for free." It’s the economic evolution of transactional romance, the objectification of the opposite sex based upon money (men) and beauty (women). Investments are made based upon the relative level of commitment to the service and what is obtained in return. If all parties to the transaction understand that so be it. But if you can license yenta's finding wannabe models and princesses their matching wallets in the form of a well healed gentlemen, then why harass the Madam or the guy who calls the escort service and orders in a professional sex worker for his preferred level of commitment? Furthermore why is there any difference between a high class escort who makes it very clear that her form of companionship has a price vs. the all too typical Manhattan Princess or Gold digger who does not quite make clear that her form of companionship also has a price or that she is in earnest looking for a sugar daddy and not a partner? Also, in the end, is there not more hustling around legitimate human emotions by legal matchmakers than illegal madams? Transactional romance between willing patrons and consensual professional sex workers in a way seems more above board and straight forward. Not a critique..but rather just an observation.

The Economics of Transactional Romance & The Dating "Biz" In NYC

No sooner had I gotten off the phone with my ex girlfriend, did I ask myself “why couldn’t I meet someone with her intelligence, wit and sex appeal?” It’s then that I realized, I already had and that chapter was now closed. How could I forget that our emotional battles which were more like “Gangs of New York” than the “Age of Innocence,” had left me calling my doctor for a prescription for Paxil as well as Viagra. Stripped of the burden of failed expectations and intimacy, we now have a platonic friendship which is far less stressful. Any anger or resentment that I once held for her as a result of my broken heart has since dissipated into a dispassionate, semi-intellectual association. Even her musings about a desire to settle down with the right guy do not slice or wound my ego but instead have got me thinking who I could introduce her to, since she is such a “catch.”

You would have to be Amish (not there is anything wrong with that) or a cavemen not to notice that there seems to be an ever growing list of services to help us access the inventory of singles in society. After a spirited discussion regarding the relative value and credibility of these services, we both agreed, given the options at our disposal these days, why commit? The need to do so becomes eviscerated when services exist which offer the illusive possibility that you can order a mate via an itemized menu of characteristics from height, weight, income, career and social status, ethnic character and other social and tangible skill sets and attributes. Has romantic love truly become something that we can shop for and procure dependent upon our ability to access that person with the perfect list of attributes? The multitude of options has created a pervasive transactional mercenary like mindset on the dating scene. Despite the endless array of options that these services have made available to facilitate access to the inventory of singles in our society, ironically enough the Manhattans Singles class continues to grow. In fact, an all to often complaint overheard is that women still can’t meet the right guy. As a friend Shari recently told me of her experiences on J Date, “Chris last week I must have profiled at least 100 guys, met approximately one dozen but none were for me and then I went to an 8 Minute Dating event and did not match with one person.” Thats when I suggested that she try DRIP CAFE, it apparently being one of the only services thats she has not yet tried which actually has arranged 134 marriages to its credit. Obviously the technological revolution while it has provided more options to access the inventory of singles does not necessarily result in a “hit” if you do not find someone with “ALL” of your enumerated criteria. Perhaps many men and women will continue to harbor unrealistic expectations and thereby resist and forsake the allure of marriage and commitment in perpetual quest of the BBD (The “Bigger Better Deal”).

These services have succeeded and will likely continue to thrive because they feed an insatiable consumerist appetite for "options" and they align themselves with the growing "Cocktail Culture." The freedom to pursue your dreams is core value of our society. After our need for food, water and shelter, the urge to pair bond is a strong biological need but the need to "commit" is not. Do not think that the founders of these services care much about whether you find true love. That is NOT their mission. Their business model is predicated on getting you hooked on bouts of intermittent pair bonding experiences so that you perpetually return for more. Perhaps this is too much of an indictment of our culture or the businesses that have evolved to feed these desires.

After an otherwise stressful and exhausting week, and after a grueling back and abs workout at Equinox and a Schvitz at The Russian Spa on Wall Street, I had the opportunity to partake of the nearly “2 hour open bar from 8-10” last night at Scott’s Winter Bash at Coda. They actually shut down the open bar at 9:30 and converted to cash bar early once they ran out of the cheap stuff. Scott and friends, including my friend Chris” Networking Girl” Marashio who really put 8 Minute Dating on the map in NYC, should however, be commended for a superb turnout. While we actually had to start shelling out for the Grey Goose, about a half hour earlier than planned, nobody seemed to care about the inconvenience since the bartenders were gracious, extremely adept and efficient at serving drinks, eliminating any wait time.

With the number of familiar faces and mutual friends in attendance it actually seemed like it was my party. I enjoyed cocktails and spirited conversation with some of my friends which included the Founder of the MTG Foundation, made a new friend “Valerie,” founder of New York Planet, and the infamous founder of Club Marty, the mensch of Manhattan/Hoboken & the Hampton’s share house which has historically had attracted the best and most diverse crowd, thrown the best parties and single handedly been responsible for more hookups, ongoing friendships and in some case even marriages.

If you were male, there was simply very little to complain about. The presence of ABC Family Channel, casting for an upcoming reality relationship show Perfect Match seemed to bring every “L’L Hottie” out of their Manhattan apartments on the early side of a Saturday night in NYC. Whatever your “type” is, in all likelihood she was in attendance. The quality and quantity of beauty in attendance made it quite difficult to focus. It was truly a commitment phobes paradise! For a few hours some of us were able to have a lot of fun and forget that we are living in challenging times. Although, I may sound like I have velvet claws, it did occur to me with the over abundance of “blondes” in attendance that either there was an ABBA revival, Swedish convention was in town or perhaps despite the downturn Madison Avenue and 57th street salons have been doing a thriving business. It also occurred to me that in all likelihood with how primped the women were in attendance, that I would guess that a good 50% at least were clients of the infamous Jay Sisters on 57th street. As much as I may critique the “high maintenance” women, these Alpha females are some of God’s most beautiful creatures and certainly inspiration for continuing my workouts at Equinox and Balance. Perhaps they can make up for my late night indulgences at Jackson Hole.

Anyway, what's what a renaissance man (by his own definition) to do on Sunday without football, Soprano’s, other than listen to some Andrea Bocelli, tuning into MSNBC, reading the Times over some home made Chicken Pizziaola and Linguine. So this was not one of my better entries, I cannot be brilliant or controversial every day.

Transactional Romance & Evolution of the Feminine Ideal: A Choice between "Busted Up Sex & the City Women/Whores vs. True Alpha Female Goddess"

I am Chris London, a Boston University & University of Pennsylvania Law School grad. After a career as a practicing lawyer for premier New York & Boston based international law firms, including Weil Gotshal & Manges & Bingham Dana, I became a legal and executive search professional. Several years ago, I founded what has become known as NYC's London Network. Periodically I send out the London Network Newsletter which I refer to as the "Infomaniacs" guide to Balanced Manhattan living---Strategic Career Development, Health & Wellness & Renewal of the Human Spirit through Activism, Socializing, Networking

I have come to serve as career, business, life, romantic counselor and confidant to some of Manhattan's most driven, intelligent and successful people. The London Network is committed to the success of those who are contributing to a greater sense of community in Manhattan. My friends and confidants have taken me on a journey of enlightenment and I have and will continue to be there to counsel them through it. My friends and confidants span a broad socio economic demographic within our city. Make no mistake, London Network is not a party promotion service, although we do seek to guide and connect our friends for business, life, health, romance and fun. The London Network is much more akin to Jason Kidd than Shaq. I like to "dish the rock" and assist our friends in this town who are genuinely committed to contributing to a better sense of spirit, community and who have worthy business ideas to share. If you want to credit us with an assist, great!

The past few weeks have been an interesting ride. Despite the stagnant economy, a downturn in business and absorbing and counseling many of my friends through some stressful times, I was able to enjoy some light hearted moments. On Sunday like many in NYC and across the country, I watched Chuckys Crew from Tampa Bay obliterate Oaklands men in black in the Super Bowl. I enjoyed the game among some old and new friends at a last minute Super Bowl Party thrown by The Jester Society at Climate 8, which is owned by a fellow UPenn Alum. Later in the week, after having already been quoted in the recent New York Magazine cover story, "The Casual Sex Revolution", I had drinks with the edgy female writer/social commentator Amy Sohn.. Over a few cocktails I had the opportunity to share some andecdotes about my dating experiences in NYC. Though I may have exposed myself a bit, I did not take any personal swipes at anyone or at least I do not recall doing so. In addition, I participated for the experience in some 8 Minute Dating events. With the proliferation of romance based businesses, some of my friends involved in running them like Chris Marashio have gotten alot of media attention lately. While the events were fun, in earnest because of the presence of Katie Couric from the Today Show, New York 1, Timeout Magazine etc. the events at Guastavinos & Turtle Bay did have somewhat of a staged feel. Just an observation but it seems to me that there is definitely a cold, heartless & political side to the dating biz. Nevertheless, I did meet some cool and interesting people...who I may want to be friends with,including a sassy entrepreneur who runs Safina a sex education based business solely for women. Due to a busy calendar, I am disappointed that I was unable to make the first benefit thrown by the "PFI"--Professionals For Israel this week at Sugar in Tribeca.

Also this week, my ever so brief fling came to an end with the Brooklyn Sex & the City Girl (with a dog named Gucci, no less) who I met at Capitale on Thanksgiving Eve. If this thing had gotten any more serious, we may have had a conflict because I could not see naming our children Calvin, Hermes or Prada, Brooks might have been ok. Who knows, maybe she will still be a friend of the London Network, or perhaps not after referencing her on here ;-) My search for a Meadow Soprano or Monica Belluci look alike continues.

A growing concern of mine and that of many men is a growing Princess Complex; the crass and blatant materialism, sense of entitlement and objectification of men based upon the size of their bank accounts or lack thereof. It gives romance a perversely transactional flavor. I was fine with being a piece of meat but if I am going to be reduced to a "wallet", perhaps strip clubs and Escort Services are a better alternative than the Manhattan social scene these days. The line between dating services and escort services has become blurred, e.g, VIP Life & Prime Connections. Its ever so sad that more and more women seem to be emulating a busted up crew of late 30's & 40 years old vapid professional single women who's social angst can be reduced to their pursuit of Manolo Blahniks and a "Mr. Big."

In this era of androgyny & altered societal roles the notion or what is a man or a woman is certainly being reshaped and redefined. The prevailing wisdom and evidence would suggest that women are now freed from the bondage of requiring a man solely as a means of financial support. It would seem that women are empowered to seek out mates that more appropriately satisfy their romantic, sensual, intellectual and emotional needs rather than seeking out a combination of “Daddy Warbucks” and “Father Knows Best”, exclusively.
One would surely hope that female empowerment and independence has and will continue to create new opportunities for enhanced relations between the sexes; perhaps even lead us to a new spiritual awakening. The "Sex in the City" class of women, however, led on by a materialistic and decadent pop culture licensing their petty indulgences have developed a crass sense of female machismo that has unfortunately been embraced by scores of vapid materialistic women as the new feminine ideal. Truth be known this version of the feminine ideal embodies every thinking mans worst romantic nightmare and is an afront to the real women's movement. The womens movement towards equality was focused on the spiritual empowerment, independence and respect of women, not soley the materialistic empowerment of women. This brand of women could use a lesson from Emily Post. There is a very simple reason why a critique of this false brand of feminism has not resonated in the media and that is that "Sex and the City" is nothing more than a materialistic metaphor and infomercial for crass consumerist excess. Basically its good for business driving women into stores to feed their consumerist apetite for everything and anything Gucci, Prada, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo so that they can doll themselves up like their role models while they jet set from the Manhattan Lounge & Charity circuit to the Hamptons, Newport and Ibiza.

You only have to witness the acute fascination with Joe Millionaire, which is truly nothing more the Male Powerball Lotto for women. Consider the pervasive strategic opportunism & gauche materialism of women suffering from the delusional belief of the existence of a 6 ft 5 Tall, Muscular, Handsome Prince Charming with $50 Million dollars who despite all of these gifts decided he needed Fox TV to help him find a wife. Do these women have no shame or do they still believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy? The reality is that nobody on the show male or female would be confused with a Mensa member. In any event this is only further evidence of "How reality TV degrades us all." Justification for the "mindset" can be found in Blu Cantrell song, Hit em up style, "Hey Ladies When your man wanna get buckwild ...Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style..Put your hands on his cash..And spend it to the last dime." If these are the modern female role models god help men in Manhattan because there is nothing here for men to embrace that they cannot otherwise find at an Escort Service, albeit at a discount. I much prefer the female anthem, "Independent Woman" by Destinys Child, because all the woman are independent... they are honeys making money and all of those girls do not depend on me."

Instead, as one friend observed, women have become the new frat boys, “It’s hard to go out without having to over hear a group of crass giggling females objectifying men by the size of his "Unit", staying power, or even his relative wealth and social status over Cosmo’s or whatever new drink they have seen their role models drinking on Sex and the City.” Forget about the idea of investing in a "male extension." I need to find someone who can offer me a "cash implant" if these women continue to serve as role models for NYC women. In such case, perhaps size really does matter...the size of our wallets. So to my female friend who asked us during half time of a Super Bowl Party, “do men really feel like women are only interested in their money?” Not only but perhaps we have come to understand that your ideal is as Mr. Big as much as ours is Commissioner Gordon’s daughter on Batman who can go from sexy eye glass wearing librarian/mensa babe to Buff Vixen like Bat Girl in nothing flat. I can, however, fondly recall a more simple time, my college days, when you would meet a girl at a party over a Lite Beer or two, joke about whether it really tasted great or was less filling. Before you knew it, your clothes were off in some college dorm room and you realized maybe she did not taste so great and she realized that perhaps you were less filling than she had hoped. In either event, isn't it really all about managing and adjusting expectations?

I must be missing something because even my friend Beth at Flo Inc. has seminars entitled Loving Money and Loving Men, who have money. I refuse, however, to indict the entire female gender in this town because my circle is filled with women who are not representative of that perversification of female independence and empowerment. Give me a woman with the perspective of Amy Sohn, Mama Gena or Elizabeth Wurtzel, author of the female manifesto "Bitch--In praise of difficult women." These are women who are bold and independent who have learned lessons, refuse to be or allow other women to be victims. Their brand of feminism does not consume itself with disempowering men in order to empower women, actually much to the contrary. If this is the era of the Goddess or the "Alpha" female, certainly count me in as one of Mama Gena's disciples. Hell, just to prove my point I would pucker up for Tristan Taormino. In fact, I am looking forward to Mamas refresher course for men this weekend. Hey, you know what? You can never know too much about women. At least I do not profess that I do. Maybe Mama Gena can give me some tips about get a date with an older woman, like Katie Couric, who looks like a younger woman in person, and is also charming, gracious and intelligent? What do you think?

In any event, with war looming on the horizon & a stagnant economy, stress levels are high among many of our friends across the spectrum from the professionally employed as well as entrepreneurs. With all of the corporate belt tightening, efficiency measures undertaken, many entities are running leaner operations. The securely employed are overworked with many finding themselves doing the job of two people. The less busy feel that they may be in tenuous or precarious position. They have their eyes on the horizon and wonder how they can remain employed, find alternate employment or otherwise navigate what can be a treacherous job market. Entrepreneurs are feeling the pinch from a customer base & clientele with reduced disposable income. Even I have slacked off on my healthy ways, I need to get back into Balance, back on track with Pilates, taking my Green stuff, lifting weights at Equinox and taking a Schvitz at the Wall Street Spa.

While we are all focused to a greater degree on the career and fortifying the home front, my view is that this not the time to insulate oneself. Since the London Network is a division of a Legal Placement and Career Advisory Firm we shall endeavor to do our part and help our friends navigate the market place to unearth the Hidden Job Market, even when a placement fees are not always possible for our services. I am encouraging our friends to stay connected to us. Morever, if any of our friends are in the HR area and want to get the word out about your hiring needs to a select slice of Manhattan at a great cost savings, essentially eliminating much of the transactions costs associated in doing so, let us know about your hiring needs as there may be someone in our network that you should meet, interview or perhaps even hire. If you want to make a contribution towards covering some of our overhead or pay us a reasonable consulting fee, that would be helpful and we are open to discussion. To a more cohesive & inclusive enviornment and otherwise surviving these challenging times! All I can say is what would I do without Starbucks or Pick a Bagel?